" We're in trouble here champ, there's more badguys than we have bullets."

Ok so this might be my greatest blog entry to date. or worst. either way definitely the most meaningless, however i couldn't help myself.

While watching "24" tonight with my roommates (which sucks because Jack Bauer is a hack. yes i said it) I started some dialog about real movie star badasses. Not your fake Kiefer Sutherland, smoke & mirrors type wannabes; I'm talking real deal action stars. After a few minutes of arguing and getting nowhere i devised a plan (naturally). I'm far from a numbers guy, but for this I went straight up old school 8th grade science class quantitative style. The biggest badass was going to be the man (women were disqualified. bull dike's around the globe deal with it) who has the most confirmed on screen kills. Now all of a sudden I had my roommates undivided attention (joke). I looked it up and instantly had the results (of course I knew who was # 1 before looking, if you know me you know I knew which is both frighting and sad, yes). Here's an excerpt of what happened next...( I am ME (idiots) and my roommate John is JF and Chris is CA . clever i know)

ME: Chris hit pause. Pause. Chris fucking pause. Its DVR you're not gonna miss anything...
JF: Mario Van Peebles
ME: No. Strong guess but he didn't even make the top ten.
CA: Jackie Chan
ME: I believe this list is based strictly on American actors killing, well, any other nationality i guess..
CA: Schwarzenegger isn't American , he on the list?
ME: Fair point. Yes, runner up actually. Fine guys who you can sort of kind of understand what they mumble out of their mouth before they kill someone. I still have no clue what the fuck Jackie Chan is talking about.
JF: You're a huge tool.
ME: I know.
CA: The dude from Double Impact?
ME: Van Damme. Another good guess but wrong, he finished 10th.
JF: Yo just tell us I want to finish the end of this shit and go to bed.
CA: Agreed.
ME: Little actor by the name of Dolph Lundgren.
CA: Who the hell is that?
ME: Ivan Drago douchebag, from Rocky IV.
CA: Whatever 'bauerhour' is still the shit...
ME: Dolph's got 662 confirmed kills in 23 movies. 182 alone from The Punisher.
JF: The Punisher?
ME: The original, 1989.
JF: Lets finish this show I gotta get to bed.
ME: Whats not accounted for in these stats is that I heard from an oldtime union gaffer who became an LD...
CA: What's a gaffer?
ME: a crew guy, thats not important. but that Steven Segal has 3 confirmed real kills under his belt. that should put him at #1 no question.
JF: Ha, real kills. who'd he kill?
ME: Who knows. I believe it though, he can snap your neck in like 3 seconds flat from grab to twist to death.
CA: Fascinating erv. unpausing now.

Tell me you didn't enjoy that??? I don't normally post dialogue but this was so great it deserved the space. To see the full top 10 go here : http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/570751/which_action_hero_actor_has_killed_pg2.html?cat=40
Dave & Andrew (brothers) and WayneO (old man) this post was for you. Just dropped some serious action knowledge on society at large.