Love & Chicken Salad (and potato latkes)

I know, I know, I know. I haven't written in a while. Fuck off. It's my blog.

But here ya go. You will love this, I'm back in a big way. So Whole Foods. Right? Screw dating websites (i know a guy who uses those sites who has a serious girlfriend but cant F any of her friends for obvious reasons, so he just finds girls on there. Genius i know) and blind dates and friend set-ups, if you are in need of companionship just go to Whole Foods. Unfortunately I don't have any insight on whether or not there are hot dudes there, so girls you can stop reading, but for guys there are a plethora of good looking girls. Like crazy amounts, and its completely harmless. I personally recommend the 24th and 7th ave location, weekdays around 1pm, start out at the soup station and go from there. I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with girls about the tomato soup with roasted red pepper, it's insane. Dudes you gotta try this, and you are surrounded by food so you already have an in. No awkward convos, just talk about anything in the freakin' store.

The new Tribeca location is good too. Last time I was there I ran into MKO (mary kate olsen, obviously) and she was loading up on carbs. She was right by the checkout counter (the side one) getting bagels, cookies, bread, muffins, etc. I know, the irony was almost too much to handle. But I refocused and concentrated on the salad bar. Struck up a convo about the cold cheese ravioli they have as an option to put on your salad. Who puts cold pieces of cheese ravioli on their salad?? Really? What the fuck dressing do you use, Newman's Own Marinara? I think you've successfully defeated the definition of a "salad."

If you've heard this before, well, kudos to you. I'm just pointing out, so that everyone knows (i have like 6 followers I'm aware),Whole Foods is a babe haven. Worst case scenario you leave with a half pint of amazing chicken salad and a few potato latkes. What in gods name is a patato latke; not sure I'll ever know? But they are phenomenal ( I recommend drenching them in Tabasco Chipotle sauce. Thank me later).